My Apologies, Part 1

I thought that the MPAA was insane when they began threatening peer-to-peer file share geeks and told the courts that file sharing would ruin the movie industry... they were right.

In the past few years the aches and pains have converted into some of the worst offerings of Hollywood. I won't place all of the blame on the actors. It appears more so as though the writers are all gone and the actors are now left to fend for themselves. Poor filthy rich people (sigh).

So these days we are given the gift of remakes. Poseidon, King Kong, Yours Mine and Ours, The Shaggy Dog, War of the Worlds, You've Got Mail (Shop around the Corner), The Longest Yard, Ocean's Eleven, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Walking Tall, Fun with Dick and Jane, Mr. Deeds (that's two for Mr. Sandler).

Then there are the phenomenal teen flicks. American Pie, Road Trip, Bring it On (and the whole Bring-it-on genre), Dude-Where's my Car? (survey says -- not a title), and the aptly named Not Another Teen Movie. Don't forget Scary Movie 1,2, 3, and 4. We get what you are trying to do... now please stop.

But you say "Hey Matt, there are some pretty cool blockbusters out there recently." Sure there are... and they are all based on comic books. That's right, the only inspirational writing taking place in the movie industry is limited to the studios of DC, Marvel, Dark Horse, and Vertigo. Now I was a comic collector years ago so I can enjoy these films but it is still sad for that to be the best there is to offer.

So that leaves We the People with a new breed of film... Choose Your Own Adventure. Snakes On A Plane is a movie set to release this year. This film was going to have another name but Samuel L. Jackson supported the early "fan base" on this project who cried out for the name to rename Snakes On A Plane. Then fans continued to beg for adjustments to the film including more nudity, more snakes, and poor language to give the film an R rating rather than the PG-13 it was heading for. So when this movie releases we will see what happens when the masses are forced to put their own films together. My prediction? I'd rather see a Scary Movie marathon.

So what is the deficit? How much are we in the whole in Hollywood? Maybe we should funnel our taxes back to Hollywood and bail ourselves out of this sad state of affairs.

Oh, by the way the MPAA hates the baby Jesus.

This is the state of your America. Good night.